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<title>Of Flamingoes And Pineapple Milk by WintersCurse</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24957991">Of Flamingoes And Pineapple Milk</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WintersCurse/pseuds/WintersCurse'>WintersCurse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, It's all crack here baby, Shopping Trip, The Dead Men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:00:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>608</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24957991</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WintersCurse/pseuds/WintersCurse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Dead Men and Co go grocery shopping... yeah... totally shopping for groceries</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Of Flamingoes And Pineapple Milk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If Ghastly had designed the supermarket, he wouldn’t have chosen row upon row of fluorescent lights. </p><p>They shone harshly one the waxy floor. And in the glare was the reflection of peeling signs and rows of fruit almost as bright as Saracen and Dexter’s matching shorts. </p><p>Brightly patterned matching shorts that were speeding down the isles at top speed. </p><p>Saracen’s laugh was coming in grunts and whimpers as he jumped over a wet floor sign, a lawn flamingo tucked under his arm. </p><p>As Dexter rounded the corner, a breath behind Saracen, he tripped. The display of dog toys went flying, narrowly missing Skulduggery. </p><p>But Dexter wasn’t down yet. </p><p>He leaped at Saracen’s feet, only succeeding in pulling down his donut socks and causing a loud string of swearing. </p><p>And as Saracen tried to kick at Dexter’s shoulders, the flamingo went flying out of his hands.</p><p>Fletcher was in position in no time, hands reaching out for the flamingo. </p><p>“I’ve got it!” He yelled. </p><p>He did not get it. </p><p>As the flamingo went whizzing past him, Valkyrie reached out, almost toppling over the shopping cart she was sitting in. </p><p>She caught it with the tip of her fingers. </p><p>“No.” Shudder said firmly, reaching for the flamingo. </p><p>He was very good at the primary-school-teacher-saying-no-to-a-scissor-war voice, Ghastly thought. It was probably why Larrikin had been so infatuated with him. </p><p>It did wonders on Fletcher, too. </p><p>He gave Shudder the biggest pout he could muster, and wrapped his arms around Shudder’s waist. He dug his heels into the ground to prevent Shudder from moving. </p><p> Unfortunately, Shudder was almost three times Fletcher’s size and built like a tank on steroids, so it did nothing. </p><p>Throwing Fletcher off to the side, Shudder snatched the flamingo off Valkyrie. He pointed it at Saracen’s face threateningly. </p><p>Saracen, who now somehow had 43 tins of baked beans, did not look even the slightest bit intimidated. </p><p>And before Ghastly could be subjected to a 40 minute long lecture from Shudder, he started backing out of the aisle. </p><p>“I’m going to get the milk,” Ghastly said quietly. </p><p>He headed off down the aisle, fingers crossed and ears pricked up for footsteps. </p><p>He’d already taken his sigh of relief when Ravel piped up behind him. </p><p>“So. I've been thinking that from now on we should only buy strawberry milk. I was going to say pineapple milk, but I think that might be expensive and I don’t really want to know how the milk pineapples.” </p><p>“Kinny,” Ghastly sighed. “We need the milk to cook with.” </p><p>“Exactly! Every cookie you make will have just the hint of strawberries!” </p><p>Ghastly raised an eyebrow, narrowly missing a collision with a coat hanger. “Do you want quiche pastry tasting like strawberries too? Watered down strawberry and broccoli quiche?” </p><p>Ravel’s mouth slammed shut audibly. </p><p>Ten minutes and eight pencil cases later, and Ghastly couldn’t avoid his friends anymore. </p><p>But god he wished that he could. </p><p>Valkyrie was making enough racket that he was convinced they were going to be kicked out. And, circling around her and the shopping cart, was Tanith and Fletcher ordering a revolution. </p><p>They’d seemingly forgotten they were both adults and could buy the Cookie Wookie Maker Supreme TM by themselves if they wanted it so badly. </p><p>And Valkyrie was sitting on what looked like a marble fountain, with Dexter and Saracen’s initials already carved onto it. </p><p>China was walking up to them with a canon and an innocent smile. And when Skulduggery picked up a bag of neon orange feathers and shook it, Ghastly snapped. </p><p>Skipping in time to Ravel rattling a can of dried corn, Ghastly picked up a feather boa.</p>
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